Conflict: The Billion-Dollar Leadership Blind Spot

The ability to manage conflict will make or break your company.

Hear me out—conflict is inevitable, and few of us enjoy it.

In December 2024, SHRM’s quarterly pulse survey—which gauges the levels of civility (and incivility) in society—found:

• A whopping 76% of workers personally experienced or witnessed acts of incivility over the past month,

• Discord on the job cost US organizations between $2-3 billion dollars per day in reduced productivity and absenteeism, and

• 74% of workers believed managers could have done “more” to prevent incivility

When I moved to strategic operations, my role was to sit between the corporate office and revenue-generating locations. At one point, I mentioned to my manager that I felt like I was always advocating for people who weren’t in the room—I was trying to convince revenue-generating locations that they should follow the processes and procedures of the corporate office, and trying to convince the corporate office to change their workflows and requirements that didn’t make sense at the ground level. My job was to manage dissonance and competing priorities, otherwise known as conflict.

As a leader, I’ve led several reorganizations, changed people’s roles, managed performance improvement plans, and separated employees. In general, I agree with Brene Brown—Clear is Kind.

That said, I am happy to share the strategies of an expert with far more experience than my own: Dr. Peter Coleman is a Columbia University professor and expert in conflict resolution. According to Coleman, to lead well through conflict, great leaders:

1. Lay the groundwork: build a foundation for resolving disputes by strengthening the organization’s work climate and conflict-engagement skills before disagreements arise

2. Grow rapport: foster collaborative relationships (ie: through meaningful joint projects)

3. Balance discipline with creativity: shift between firm boundary setting (discipline) and collaborative problem solving (creativity)

4. Master adaptivity: utilize an entire toolkit of intervention strategies, including:

   1. Shuttle diplomacy: where intermediaries carry messages between parties

   2. Peace corridors: where parties designate safe zones for conversation amid conflict

5. Leverage the broader context: look beyond immediate areas of conflict to understand the bigger picture that is creating tensions

6. Aim for generational peace: invest in gradual changes that create lasting organizational harmony

7. Be opportunistic: look for emotional turning points, informal channels, surprising areas of alignment, and other subtle opportunities that can transform conflicts

Coleman’s guidance matches my personal experience, which suggests:

• We should be proactive—create environments where employees interact, respect one another, and develop relationships before conflicts arise.

• We should be nimble—recognize that as business leaders, we will always have competing priorities (profitability v sustainability, flexibility v efficiency, creativity v systemization). We need to find paths through conflict, whether that be by widening our lens, adjusting our problem solving strategy, identifying what is fixed and what can be changed, or capitalizing on an unexpected opportunity.

• We should play the long game—so often, we are under pressure to deliver quick wins or immediate results. In the world of conflict management, though, we must invest in gradual changes, experiences, and interactions that create lasting harmony.

As leaders, we may not want to face conflict, but our employees… and our profitability… demand it.